Writing On The Range

Wyoming Sucks, Tell All Your Friends

 

The wind blows here, All of the time

It tears at your soul and scatters the grime

 

Carhartt jackets, gloves and hats

For Wyoming winters, they are no match

 

The snow drifts are deep, topped with razor sharp ice

Shatters under your boots, with a frozen slice

 

The summer heat is unbearably dry, hot oppressive sun

Long days, short nights, there’s never any fun

 

There aren’t any open seats at rodeos, fairs or anywhere to relax

And everything is expensive, especially the state income tax

 

There are too many trees up north and there are no trees in the east

The roads are rough, and heavily patrolled by angry police

 

Everyone is mean here, they don’t take time to visit

They hate everything and everyone in it

 

Nobody square dances or attends potlucks

Cheers for the home team, or donates a few bucks

 

When your truck sputters to the side of the road, nobody stops to see if your alright

Or offer some help, or a place for the night

 

If your cows get out, they don’t stop and put them back in

If your horses get cut on some wire, they won’t help’m mend

 

When your kids need a ride, they won’t bring them in

When your rails fall down, they won’t hold them while you pound them back in

 

If it’s not too hot, it’s freezing cold Wyoming has no soul

It’s backwards, lost, stubborn and old

 

So now you know, In Wyoming everything terrible blends

Wyoming sucks, Now tell all your friends

 

~ Chad Auer

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